"If you want to find joy, practise love and compassion."- A reflection on joy

For the third week of Advent the Venerable Anne-Marie Renshaw, Archdeacon of Morgannwg, reflects on Christmas decorations, including the inflatable Santa that scares her dog, as she explores the difference between joy and happiness...

Here in the valleys, it has been looking like Christmas since mid-November, when many people put up their lights. It’s rather lovely driving through the villages and seeing them, though my dog has taken a dislike to our neighbours’ inflatable Santa, barking at it whenever we leave the house. As we head into the darkest weeks of the year, in a month that many find difficult for various reasons, as peace feels a long way off and it still keeps raining, those lights bring a little bit of joy into the day.

Joy is not the same as happiness. Happiness is mainly about how I am feeling – I might feel happy because I am with people I love or doing something I like. Joy is more deep-seated. People can feel joy even when they are experiencing pain and difficulty, because joy is less about how I feel in the moment and more about knowing that, however dark it feels, there is always light. Advent joy is about knowing that God breaks into our world with all its grief and pain, and says, “I am with you.”

Joy is elusive. We can’t wake up in the morning and decide to be joyful. Joy catches us unawares, often when we see it on someone else’s face. What brings us most joy can be knowing we’ve made a difference to someone else. Joy brings us into the heart of God because joy is not asking what will make me happy, but what will fill another’s heart. If you want to find joy, practise love and compassion.

The people putting up lights outside their houses are not doing it for themselves. They can’t see those lights from inside. They are bringing joy to others. May the joy of knowing God’s presence light up the lives of those around us.