Journeys of Faith: Laura Ames
I have been a Christian all of my life. Born into a Christian family, where church was never questioned, it was just something we did. My parents ran a youth camp where I was the mascot until I was finally able to go myself, and quite honestly it was those years on camp, surrounded by the most amazing people, that really shaped me into who I am today.
I never really had the moment, you know the moment people speak of when they became a Christian, I just was, and for a while that bothered me, I felt quite jealous of all the people who had these great stories of when God came into their lives. But for me He has just always been there, knowing what I know now I think he had to be to get me through what was coming.
Being a Christian isn’t easy. When things are going well it is easy to get carried away and have a child-like faith, for me, it has been a physical rollercoaster but with God always by my side.
I was diagnosed with diabetes at the age of 7, I don’t really remember life without it and I have had a love/hate relationship with it ever since. I was a rebellious teenager and didn’t always do what I should have done, and I went off the rails a bit. I never wanted to be different and stand out, but I also loved the attention I got when I did. I never stopped going to church and each time I went out of line I would pray that I would be better.
Over the years I have had most of the complications you can get, being a diabetic. I lost my vision and had surgery on my eyes, I’ve had ulcers, horrific pregnancies. Our daughter, Millie, was born sleeping because she had spina bifida and hydrocephalus. I was in a boot for a year, and other little things, all related.
But I had no idea what was coming.
Two years ago, I nearly lost my little toe, I was in hospital facing amputation and people prayed for me through the night to save it, when the surgeons came the next morning, it was healed, there was nothing to operate on and my toe has since made a full recovery.
Last year was a bad year for me emotionally and around the time of May, I suffered the first of what I thought were panic attacks. I would get completely out of breath, have a pain and then after sitting it would go again, so I thought no more of it. As the year went on this kept happening and I just thought I was run down and having these panic attacks. I kept going and made it to Christmas, which if you know me, you will know is my favourite time of year. Boxing Day arrived and after not being able to eat my Christmas dinner and the left overs (as usual) the pain returned but this time didn’t go away. I asked my husband to take me to hospital (which, again, is not like me).
They told me I had had a heart attack.
I was transferred to the Heath and had my first of three angiograms where they found out that things were quite bad. They wanted to do open heart surgery, but couldn’t due to complications. So I have stents and an ICD which is keeping me safe. On the 30th December, my husband was told I was very sick and it didn’t look like I had long left. That night, I was again prayed for all night, by lots of people and the next day, having prepared the children for the worst and them coming to say goodbye, they found me sat up in the chair having had a shower and with lots of colour in my cheeks.
God really does heal. I am living proof.
It has been an uphill battle since Christmas. I can’t tell you that I haven’t had moments of ‘Why me?’ and ‘this is not fair’, I am only human. Whilst I haven’t felt particularly close to God, I know that he is there and I know what he has done for me.
My favourite bible quote of all time, which someone wrote in the front of my bible on camp is Proverbs 3:5 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding”.
I may not understand why this happened to me, and that’s ok, I know that God has a plan for me and actually that is enough. I don’t need to be bogged down by the questions, that’s not helpful to me. But knowing that God isn’t finished with me yet and there is hope in my future keeps me going every day.
I just want to take this opportunity to thank everyone who has prayed for me and sent well wishes, it has not gone unnoticed.
What I have learnt through all of this is that prayer works, let it be the first port of call not the last!